loon!" "Mom, are you angry?" "Sam, did you turn off your bedroom light." "Mom, are you angry with me?" "Sam, did you forget your shoes again?" "Mom, are you angry?" (By the way, Sam has shown up everywhere without shoes--the school fall festival, the orthodontist, countless stores, friend's houses, and my favorite of all . . . church (and I can only use the "we live in Kentucky" so many times). Anyway, what I really want to do is say, "Yes, Sam I'm ANGRY!" But, I see that this statement would not help the situations and try to say calmly, "No Sam I'm not angry, I'm just frustrated that you aren't doing what I asked you to do." Therefore, this has been a big eye opener for me for two reasons. 1) Obviously, when I think I'm using a "pleasant" voice, it is being perceived otherwise (or maybe my voice isn't really so pleasant), and therefore, Sam has helped me to see that I need to watch my tone of voice, and 2) I'm just going to be honest and say, "Sam is making me angry a lot!"So I've decided to be proactive and help him succeed, thereby helping me to succeed by not sounding "angry." So my plan is to set up situations for him to do well. Today, I helped him put his coat away by opening the closet when he walked through the door from school, steering him toward the closet while he told me how his day was going and therefore, his coat was hung up the first time I asked--No angry voice. And Sam succeeded!!!
I just realized as I'm typing this that Molly's asking me something, and after ignoring her the first two times, she said, "Mom, look at me." Now, that I think about it, she says this a lot to me lately. I guess I need to work on that too. . .
6 comments:
We are all mothers, aren't we? Read Cheryl's blog about a day in her life. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. I love everyone's mommy comments. We really are striving to be our best with our kids, but it isn't always easy. The Lord really knows how to humble us and what better way to be better than to read about each others hilarious struggles. thanks for sharing.
I don't know how you could ever be angry at those faces!!!!
Yeah..people say that to me about Grace, but I don't find it a problem.
I too tend to use a harsh voice with the kids. Half the time I don't even realize it. I need to work on that for sure! Good job on helping Sam succeed!
I also need to stop and look at them when I busy doing something. Matt will often walk away and then mutter things like- stupid homework, stupid blog, always busy with the babies. That about a wake up call! Thanks for the reminder.
And Jen's comments were much funnier than the post. I just am trying to 'keep it real' as they say in blogland!
At least your "anger" is a tone of voice. Mine's an all out freak out. John's at the point now that he's asking me if I'm ready to apologize to him for getting angry. Man, repeating myself more than once (even to Keith)drives me crazy. At least Sam's asking you if your mad shows that he cares, right?? Sam is such a cutie!!
I am doing a lot of "self analysis" lately with my parenting. I am just hoping to help them avoid therapy later in life and oh, yeah, help them succeed now!!! You are a great mom and those little guys are lucky.
great post! Isn't it the truth, my kids are like a giant mirror of all of my faults and shortcomings! Sometimes I get down about all the course corrections I seem to need, but then I think that's exactly what I'm supposed to me doing. And then I just trust that Heavenly Father will make up the rest.
Zoe's gets on me all the time about listening to her--and she never stops talking.
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